The Bible is Weird

Jesus Loses It

March 6, 2016

Bible Text: Mark 11:12-25 |

Series:

Jesus is hungry one day. He goes to grab a fig off a tree. The tree has no fruit, only leaves, so Jesus loses his rag and curses it. “May you never bear fruit again,” he says. The tree dies. His followers look surprised, so Jesus tells them that that’s nothing and he could totally make a mountain jump in the sea if he wanted to.

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Fear Factor

February 28, 2016

Bible Text: Ezekiel 3:24-4:16 |

Series:

God tells Ezekiel that in memorial of the siege of Jerusalem, he needs to build a model of the city. Then he needs to lie down on his left side for 390 days, then his right side for 40 days. During this time he is only allowed to eat bread which he has baked over a fire of human faeces.

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I Now Pronounce You Husband And Sister?

February 21, 2016

Bible Text: Genesis 12:10-20 |

Series:

Abram’s wife Sarai is seriously good-looking, so Abram is worried that the Egyptians will kill him to steal her. He asks her to pretend that she’s his sister instead. Pharaoh takes her into his household and rewards Abram. But this annoys God, who punishes Pharaoh’s family with “serious diseases”.

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The Biggest Loser

February 14, 2016

Bible Text: Judges 3:12-30 |

Series:

Ehud, an assassin, stabs a king called Eglon. Eglon is extremely fat, so the whole sword, up to the handle, is lost within his rolls of flab. Eglon dies in a bloody mess, and Ehud leaves without his sword.

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“Lobola-ectomy”

February 7, 2016

Bible Text: 1 Samuel 18 |

Series:

In undoubtedly the weirdest story in the Bible, King Saul demands a bride price from the king-to-be, David, for his daughter's hand in marriage. Not money, not cows, none of those things - he demands 100 foreskins! David, being ever so eager to be married outdoes himself, and presents the king with 200 foreskins, just to make sure he's secured the girl. Yes, completely normal, I know. Have a listen to find out what on earth is going on here, and why living under the mastery of anything other than Jesus Christ might leave you having to “pay in foreskins”.

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Noah the Drunk

January 31, 2016

Bible Text: Genesis 9:18-29 |

Series:

Sometimes the “good guys” are not always “good guys”. In Genesis chapter 9, Noah gets smashed on wine, gets naked, and curses his grandson. Yes, the same "righteous" Noah who God saved from the flood. What is going on? Listen in as we try to make sense of these strange events, and also see how our own spiritual nakedness is exposed through this ancient tale.

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Bears and the Baldy Man

January 24, 2016

Bible Text: 2 Kings 2:23-25 |

Series:

Elisha, God’s special prophet was clearly a guy you didn’t want to tick off. On one occasion, when walking past a town, a group of youths began to mock his apparent lack of hair. In what must have been a fit of rage, he cursed them, and 2 bears ran out of the woods and mauled 42 of them. Nice guy. Listen in as we probe this disturbing story and wrestle with the concept of God’s justice.

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